


Locked Away

by LoveInTechnicolor



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, clexa!au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveInTechnicolor/pseuds/LoveInTechnicolor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years ago, Lexa was framed for a crime she did not commit. During her time in prison, she realized how much of an effect her sentencing was having her girlfriend, Clarke, and ended their relationship, effectively breaking both their hearts in the process. Now, she is back on the outside and attempting to pick up the pieces of the life she was forced to leave behind. What she wants most, however, just so happens to be one of the many things she might not be able to recover from the wreckage of her past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Long & Lost

_Guilty._

Lexa had spent the past six years of her life trying to come to terms with that one word.

After mulling over the details time and time again, she had come to pinpoint the day of her trial as the moment her old life ended and the new one began. Looking back, it was easy for her to say that she should have seen it coming. A huge corporation taking an expendable employee to court for a large sum of money that had suddenly gone missing? Even with the evidence stacked in her favor, she should have realized she would be the one to take the fall.

Unfortunately, hindsight is twenty-twenty. She is fully aware that nothing she knows now could help her with what happened back then and the outcome will always remain the same no matter how much she wishes otherwise.

Her story will always play out as her being guilty until proven innocent.

As soon as the jury gave their verdict, her mind rushed with the new reality she was dealt while the entire courtroom burst into outrage. Numb to everything else around her, Lexa turned to find her girlfriend, Clarke, standing right behind her, looking just as stunned as she was. Any last bit of resolve Lexa had completely disintegrated as her eyes met stormy blues, and she silently revealed all of the thoughts and fears swirling around her head.

Picking up on the wordless exchange, Clarke gently took Lexa's face between her hands and forced the brunette to hold her gaze as she tried to help ground her to reality.

“Clarke, I-I didn’t do it,” Lexa quietly whimpered out just soft enough for only Clarke to hear.

“I know you didn’t, Lex. I swear I do, and there is absolutely no way in _hell_ that I am going to leave you to do this all on your own so don’t even let that be a thought in your beautiful, little head, okay? I will do whatever it takes to get you out. We are in this together. You and I until the very end.”

Clarke then pulled her into a quick but passionate kiss, allowing the two to savor the soft warmth of the other's lips one last time before the deputies could get to them. Before they could tear Lexa away from the blonde. Before they could slap a pair of handcuffs around her wrists and haul her away from the only person she had ever truly loved. The beautifully brilliant and caring woman she would do absolutely anything for, even if it hurt her in the process.

That last thought resonated with Lexa long after that day. Some days, it broke her down. Others, it left her wishing that there was more she could do for her love. Lexa had barely made it a year of being locked up before bringing up the topic she knew Clarke did not want to hear. After an entire year of the blonde making the long trip up to the state penitentiary for her bi-monthly visits, Lexa finally mustered up the courage to speak the thoughts that had been haunting her since that day in the courtroom. She did not even manage to get past the first word, however, before Clarke sternly repeated the same statement she had told Lexa before the brunette was taken into custody.

_“You and I until the very end.”_

For two more years, Lexa quietly sat by and watched as Clarke got sadder and sadder. She was lonely. Anyone with eyes could see that. Their situation, it was taking a toll on Clarke, and Lexa truly believed the woman deserved so much more than what she was being given. She deserved to be with someone who could be there for her. Someone who could take her on dates and comfort her when she was upset. Someone who could give her the world and so much more. Unfortunately at that moment in time, that person was not Lexa, a woman who was looking at twelve more years in prison.

Clarke was quick to voice her vehement disapproval after Lexa told her she thought they should break up, unwilling to even consider the suggestion. She was not surprised in the least when Lexa fought her every step of the way, though the effort still grated on her tired nerves and caused her to involuntarily raise her voice in frustration.

The prison guards were quick intervene once they noticed the couple's heated argument, telling them to calm down or Clarke would be forced to leave. Lexa knew it would not be long before she lost her composure, so she got up right then and started to walk away as she fought the urge to cry, telling the officers they were done for the day.

Clarke instantly caught the brunette's hand, quietly begging with tears in her eyes, “Lexa, please. _Please_ don’t do this. I love you.”

Without meeting her gaze, Lexa told her that she loved her, too. She said that she loved her more than anything, which is why she was she had reached this decision. Clarke did not understand, though. She immediately asked Lexa why she was doing this to them if she still loved her, and Lexa lost all of the resolve she had left. Using the last bit of strength she had, Lexa told Clarke she could have everything. The money, the cars, the house. Everything. If she ever needed anything, Lexa's family and friends would be more than willing to help her out in any way they could. If she found someone out there that could make her happy, then she should give them a fair chance.

And with that, Lexa left.

It was not until a full six years after her initial sentencing that Lexa finally found herself back on the outside. As it turned out, someone finally managed to track down the person who framed her for the crime and, in turn, proved her innocence in the matter. As soon as she was out, her cousin, Lincoln, offered her a job at the bar they co-owned with their other cousin, Anya, to help get her back on her feet. He also mentioned her staying in the upstairs loft until she could find a better living arrangement, which she quickly decided was her best option despite the fact that the old, rundown room was a bit of a fixer-upper.

Anya, on the other hand, fought with them at length about her cousin living there, making sure to voice her opinion on how Lexa should just _'get over her shit, call Clarke, and beg the woman to take her back.'_ She would later come to realize, however, that it was too soon for Lexa to even consider doing that after her cousin got drunk at the bar and not-so-politely reminded her that she had just gotten out of prison, which is what screwed everything up for her in the first place.

That was the last time Anya had mentioned the topic.

Two weeks later, Lexa finds herself sitting at the bar while staring down at her phone, wishing her entire situation was not so messy. The woman cannot help but remember when it was easy for her to text Clarke, especially with something as simple as _hello_ , but now she just sits there reading at the word typed out in the text box while trying to will herself into pushing the damn _Send_ button.

“Are you going to just sit there all night or are you going to order something?" Lexa suddenly hears a familiar voice question from across the bar, breaking her out of her thoughts. Glancing up, she finds Anya standing there with both of her palms pressed to the cool, wooden counter top separating them.

“Yes,” Lexa reluctantly mumbles, glancing back down at the device one last time before releasing a frustrated huff and erasing the pending message, just like she had done every other time she had attempted to make contact with her ex.

" _Yes_ to the sitting there or _yes_ to the ordering? Because if it's a yes to ordering, then I'm going to have to put a limit on how much you drink tonight."

"Anya, I own a third of this bar. I can drink however much I want."

"Yeah? Well, your drunk ramblings about shit you refuse to change is bad for business, so I'd like to request, as a fellow co-owner, that you please keep it cool tonight and not get shitfaced during open hours."

"Fine, then I'll be taking my drink to-go," Lexa snaps as she reaches across the bar and grabs a bottle of rum. Sliding out of her seat, she starts making her way towards the back of the establishment while shouting over her shoulder, "Put it on my tab."

The brunette carefully unscrews the cap of the bottle as she makes her way up the stairs to her temporary living quarters and takes a healthy swig while stepping through the open entryway, kicking the door shut behind her. Pulling the bottle from her lips, she lets out a long, disheartened sigh and slumps down into the rickety couch located a few feet away, where she continues to drink until the alcohol in her system eventually lulls her into a deep, dreamless sleep.

- 

Lexa wakes the next morning with an ache in her spine and a crick in her neck. Reaching up with a lazy hand, she rubs at the tender muscles while pushing herself up into a sitting position but immediately regrets the decision as she feels the room spin around her. The woman can hear quiet voices drifting up through the floorboards as she sat there, and with a heavy groan, she stands and reluctantly makes her way over to the staircase leading down to the bar to see what her relatives were up to.

Walking out into the main room, Lexa finds Lincoln already restocking the bar while Anya sits across the counter reading the morning paper. Without a word, she makes her way over to take a seat beside the other woman.

"Your favorite company called again to offer you your job back," Anya informs without looking up from what she is reading.

Feeling her face pull into a sneer, Lexa inquires, "Did you tell them to shove it?"

"No, I figured you might want to have the pleasure of telling off those corporate douchebags all to yourself."

"Actually, I would really rather not speak to my former employers any more than I already have to. The only thing I even remotely want to know is who the hell thought I honestly stole money from their company. _Me_ , the employee who put in countless late nights and spent four-and-a-half years of her life gunning for any promotion she could get. Why in the world would I risk screwing all that up by embezzling money I did not even need?" Realizing she is unintentionally going off on a tangent, she pinches the bridge of her nose and works to move past her aggravation regarding the matter as she grumbles, "Whatever, I am over it. If they call back, you can tell them I personally said that they can kiss my ass."

"Will do," Anya replies with an eager smirk as she flips to the next page.

"Since when do you read a newspaper, anyway?"

"Ever since you started living upstairs. I understand why you are a little apprehensive to move back in with you-know-who, but that still doesn't mean you should be living up in that grimy loft."

"It's really not that bad," Lexa replies with a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah? Well, just wait until that heater breaks one of these days. That hunk of junk is about as ornery as they get, and I'll be damned if you wake my ass up in the middle of the night complaining about how you're freezing your tits off."

Lexa cannot help but scoff at her cousin's remark, sarcastically commenting, "You know, I have truly missed the real you over the past six years. Never really got to see your snarky quips make an appearance during your visits."

"Hey, don't be ungrateful. You’re lucky I even came to see you at all."

"Sure, sure," Lexa concedes only because she is ready to move off the topic regarding her time in prison. Looking over to the man who is still busy placing bottles of liquor on the shelf, she asks, "Anything you need help with, Lincoln?"

"Actually, there is another box in the back that needs to be brought up if you don't mind."

"Not at all. Anything for my _favorite_ cousin," she knowingly teases, spurring Anya to huff out a comment somewhere along the lines of _unappreciative bitch_ in response as she throws the paper down onto the counter top and slides off her seat so she can help them prep for the bar's opening.

-

Work that night is beyond busy. The bar is packed to the brim with college kids wishing nothing more than to drink away the stress that came with finals weeks, which is good for business but tiring for the three cousins who now long for sleep. Once they are able to push out the last of the drunken patrons, the trio set to tidying up around the bar before finally calling it a night.

With a tired wave goodbye, Lexa make her way upstairs and crawls into bed without even bothering to change, ready to fall asleep almost instantly. The woman is only able to rest for a couple of hours, however, before suddenly waking up to find her body violently shivering. Forcing herself through the tiredness still fogging her mind, she quickly realizes that the loft is much colder then when she had gone to bed and pushes herself up onto her feet so she can further investigate the issue.

As it turnes out, the room's heater had broken down just as Anya predicted, which does nothing to help Lexa feel better about the situation. Already anticipating a smug  _'I told you so'_ from her cousin, Lexa shifts her jaw from side-to-side in frustration as she thinks over her two options: either prove the other woman right even further by calling to ask if she could stay the night or suck it up and just deal with the freezing cold.

Releasing a quiet groan, she quickly pads over to the suitcase of clothes Anya had given her and puts on all the jackets she can find, as well as two layers of sweatpants. Her teeth chatter together loudly as she pulls on a pair of socks with trembling fingers and slips back under the comforter, tugging the thick material around her as she curls up for warmth. Slowly glancing over to the cellphone resting atop the bedside table, she briefly entertains the idea of calling Anya one last time before rolling over with a tired huff, already well aware that sleep will not come as easily as it had the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there! I just wanted to say a quick thank you for taking the time to read my story. This is my first Clexa fic, and I am very excited to get started on it. I have a few chapters already lined out, so hopefully the next one will be on the way soon. Anyways, thank you so much again, and I hope you have a nice day!
> 
> http://loveintechnicolor.tumblr.com/


	2. Shiver

Anya walks in the next morning to find Lexa perched on one of the barstools, looking absolutely miserable as she stares down at the laptop she borrowed from Lincoln while tightly clutching a large cup of coffee in her hand. She is just about to ask Lexa why she is wrapped up in a comforter, complete with an added remark about her cousin looking like a giant burrito, when she steps further into the room and realizes the temperature inside the bar is far colder then when she had left the previous night. “Woah, why is it freezing in here?” the woman wonders aloud as she wraps her arms around herself, hoping the gesture will be enough to help shield her from the room’s chilly atmosphere.

“Heater broke,” Lexa answers quietly in a stiff, tired tone as she continues to scroll down the webpage she is viewing, not even bothering to look over at the other woman.

“Aren’t you freezing?”

“Yes.”

Anya waits a beat, half expecting Lexa to say something further, before watching the brunette lift the mug to take a sip and prompts, “Okay. Well, why didn’t you call me?”

Pulling the beverage away from her lips, Lexa simply mutters, “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“You didn't have to handle it, dumbass. All you had to do was call me, and you could have stayed at my place,” Anya asserts as she makes her way over to where Lexa is seated.  She then sees an unreadable expression flicker across her cousin's face before releasing a loud groan in realization. “You little shit! You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to have the satisfaction of saying I told you so.”

"No, I just did not care."

"Liar," Anya shoots back in an unconvinced tone but quickly realizes she is not going to get anywhere with her stubborn cousin, instead deciding to change the subject by mentioning, “You better be on the computer hunting for a new heater.”

“No, I already have that lined out. They will be here on Monday to install the new unit.”

"So, what are looking at so early in the morning, then? “

"Computer parts. I'm planning to build a new gaming PC.”

"Oh, geez. I should have known it would only be a matter of time," Anya sighs out with a teasing roll of her eyes.

Not catching on to the playful nature of her statement, Lexa responds, "I am not quite sure why you sound so surprised. You of all people should know that an extended stay in prison is not going to stop my love of computers. If anything, being locked up actually helped keep my love for them alive since they had me rebuilding PCs and occasionally assisting in the prison’s programming course as my main sources of work."

"Nerd."

"No, I just have a deep appreciation for technology," Lexa clarifies. "Each component serves a particular function to form a cohesive, working unit. Every part has its purpose."

"That sounds suspiciously like something a nerd would say."

"Well, I like to think of my outlook as poetic. Not nerdy."

"Wow, you really haven't changed a bit,” Anya chuckles with a pleased grin. “Despite all the other bullshit going on in your life, I'm glad to see that you are still _you_ at your core."

Knowing Anya is referring to everything she has lost, Lexa nods her head and agrees, "Yeah, me too."

"So, why do you want a new computer? Last I checked, you still had a perfectly good one at home."

"All my old parts are outdated, so I need to build an entirely new rig that is powerful enough to run the latest games. Plus, like you said, my current one is still at Clarke's house."

"Right. Sorry,” she apologizes with a quiet sigh, instantly picking up on Lexa’s switch in terminology while referring to the place she used to share with her ex-girlfriend. "I can go get it for you if you want. It really wouldn't be a problem since Clarke and I are still pretty close."

"No, that's okay. I have this laptop, which will suffice for now. Thanks for the offer, though."

"No problem." Knowing the situation was still a sore subject for the woman, Anya decides to shift gears a bit and announce, “Anyways, I'm going to go call Lincoln and let him know that he needs to come fix the damn heater again. Be sure to go upstairs and get packed up when you're done with your research. "

"Why would I need to do that?"

"Because you're staying at my place until further notice, and I'm not going to sit around waiting for your ass to get everything together after work tonight."

Not having the energy to fight her on the matter, Lexa quietly concedes to Anya's demands with a reluctant nod before watching the woman leave to call their other cousin.

-

Lexa’s first week of crashing on Anya’s couch goes relatively well, though she likes to occasionally mess with the woman by stating that her standards are abnormally low seeing as how she's spent the last six years living in a prison cell. Regardless, the apartment is warm and inviting, which is something Lexa has come to treasure after going so long without a real place to call home.

“Can we switch to BattleBots next? I want to see who wins the championship,” Lexa inquires one night while watching television with her cousin, who is seated on the adjacent loveseat a few feet away.

"Lexa, you had all day to watch that. Why the hell didn't you finish it then?"

"Because I found a really interesting deep sea documentary, which then led me down a long, dark rabbit hole of educational programming."

Anya cannot help but roll her eyes at Lexa's reasoning, almost as if she had expected to hear something similar to that particular answer. "Fine, we can watch your dumb killer robo-show," she huffed out in mild annoyance before clarifying, "but only because you've been locked in the slammer for six years. Don't get used to it because this isn't going to happen once I stop feeling sorry for you."

"Geez, tell me how you really feel," Lexa murmurs under her breath as she spots her cousin's orange tabby walking across the room to hop up onto her lap. Lifting her hand to itch him behind his ears, she comments, “You know, I still find it funny that you named your cat _Cat_.”

“For the last time, he's _not_ my cat. He just a stray that randomly showed up on my doorstep during a thunderstorm, and I felt sorry for him. I don’t belong to him, and he doesn’t belong to me. Simple as that."

“You know, if I did not know any better, I would say you are currently channeling your inner Holly Golightly.”

“Well,  _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ is definitely one of my all-time favorite movies. Plus, it doesn't hurt that he looks the part of a poor, nameless slob,” she replies, pointing out how close of a resemblance the cat has to the one in the movie.

“Yes, of course,” Lexa agrees with a small smirk as she turns her attention back to the television, using the remote to move through the streaming service’s queue to search for the episode she has in mind.

"So, have you talked to Clarke yet?"

Lexa keeps her eyes trained on what she is doing, finally finding what she was looking for as she answers with a simple but firm, "No."

“God, you are hopeless."

"Shut up."

"No, I’m not going to shut up, Lexa. You have been out for almost two months, and you _still_ haven't contacted her. Get your shit together and girl up already," Anya snaps, but her words seemingly fall on deaf ears as Lexa continues watching the opening of the show without revealing any sort of acknowledgement that she is listening. "Fine, ignore me. It won't be much longer before you are forced to confront her, anyway, so enjoy waddling in your denial while you can."

The comment immediately gets Lexa's attention, causing her to flick her gaze over to Anya and question in a biting tone, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," the other woman answers with finality as she looks over at the television with an disinterested gaze, which only makes Lexa more anxious about the true meaning behind her words.

-

Lexa jolts awake the following morning to a loud knock at the door. Lazily blinking open her eyes, she slowly glances around the room and notices Cat resting on her abdomen before hearing another loud knock at the door a couple seconds later. "Anya, someone is at the door!" she calls out, only to receive silence in return. Letting out a sigh, she carefully relocates the cat to his bed on the floor beside her and pushes herself up off the couch to see who woke her up. Without even thinking to look into the peephole, she flings open the door before feeling her slightly disgruntled expression pull into a look of sheer surprise, releasing an audible gasp in the process.

"Lexa?" the visitor speaks in surprise, which kick-starts Lexa's brain into functioning once more.

“Clarke! Wow, um, w-what are you-? How did-?" she sputters, her mouth left gaping as if she were a fish out of water trying to find its breath. The woman standing in front of her was just as beautiful as Lexa remembered. Even more so, in fact.

“L-Lexa, I-Anya. She, uh-“

Still stumbling over her words, she interrupts the equally stunned blonde by telling her, "Hold on. Get Anya. Right back. She, er, will be? Yes. Okay, bye.” Without a second thought, she slams door in her Clarke’s face and presses forehead against barrier now separating the two of them. “Son of a bitch,” she grunts out through clenched teeth before storming over to Anya’s bedroom. Without any sort of warning, she flings open the door and informs, “My ex-girlfriend is here, and I hate you,” as she walks past the woman, making a beeline for the nearby window.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Anya questions as she pauses putting on her makeup to watch Lexa, clearly curious as to why her cousin is sliding open the glass pane that separates them from the outside.

Sitting down on the windowsill, Lexa swings both of her legs out the opening and answers, “Promptly leaving via the fire escape.”

“In your pajamas?”

Lexa’s annoyed expression shifts to one of realization as she glances down at her attire, the cold air seeping through her cotton sleep pants and causing goosebumps to spread out across her skin. “No,” she reluctantly grumbles like a petulant child who did not get their way.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now get back in here, you extra ass hoe,” Anya chides as she grabs Lexa's arm to pull her away from the window. Lexa initially tries to shrug off her hand, but Anya quickly yanks her cousin fully inside the room before the woman has a chance, causing Lexa to lose her balance and fall backwards onto the floor.

 “Ow, that hurt!” Lexa cries out with a small grimace as she rubs at her sore rear.

“That’s what you get for being a butthead," Anya shoots back as she closes the window once more before turning back to face the other woman. "Now, get up. We’re going to brunch with your ex.”

“Nope. Not hungry,” Lexa refutes as she rolls over onto her stomach, burying her face into the rough carpet when her stomach unexpectedly growls. Pulling her lips into an irritated sneer, she curses the unruly organ just loud enough for Anya to hear.

“I swear, you are so impossible sometimes.”

“Leave me alone.”

“I will when you agree to come to brunch with us.”

“Fine,” Lexa finally concedes against her will.

“Good, now get dressed while I go let Clarke in, and we'll meet you out there when you're done,” Anya instructs, nodding towards Lexa’s bag of clothes located at the food of her bed before exiting the room and shutting the door behind her.

Lexa walks out about fifteen minutes later to find Anya and Clarke sitting on the couch next to one another, appearing to be in the middle of an in depth discussion that abruptly ends when Clarke notices her standing in front of her once more. “Hey, um, sorry I kind of slammed the door in your face. I didn’t hit you, did I?” Lexa immediately apologizes.

Without taking her eyes off the brunette, Clarke slowly shakes her head to silently tell her not to worry about it and stands to make her way over to her, looking as if she were in a trance. She then stares at Lexa for a minute, almost as if she does not believe the woman is standing right in front of her, and reaches a hand up to cup her jaw. They both stand there for a minute, Clarke’s thumb gently caressing the soft skin of Lexa’s cheek before she realizes what she is doing and snaps her hand away in a knee-jerk reaction. “Sorry, I just-I can’t believe you’re here. Octavia told me you were staying at the bar, so I wasn’t expecting to see you. Anyways, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to invade your personal space like that.”

“It is okay. I understand,” Lexa replies, directing her gaze to the floor in hopes that it will be enough to hide the deep blush she feels creeping its way up her neck and face. To say she is caught off guard by Clarke’s reaction to seeing her is an understatement. She is absolutely dumbfounded by the woman’s actions, and it takes everything in her to bury the feelings of hope they elicit within her. Clarke was just surprised to see her. That was all.

“Well, it’s good to see you, nonetheless,” the blonde admits with a small smile, which Lexa eagerly returns.

“It is good to see you, too, Clarke.”

There is a slight pause in conversation as the pair stand there, staring one another down without a word. When neither moves to speak further, Anya decides to break the silence by asking, "Okay, well now that you two have had your grand reunion, can we please carry on with Sunday Brunch Day? I’m starving.” She patiently waits to receive each of their responses, a confused look from one and a nod in agreement from the other, before turning to walk down the hall as she calls out, “By the way, I call shotgun!”

"Wait, I’m sorry. Sunday what?" Lexa questions as she looks back over to Clarke, having absolutely no idea what her cousin was referring to.

"Oh, we meet up for brunch every Sunday. That’s just her nickname for it.”

Lexa feels eyes widen in bewilderment at the newly revealed information as she snaps her gaze over to glare at Anya, who is too busy pushing the button for the elevator to notice the sharp look her cousin was giving her. Lexa then quickly makes a mental note to discuss the issue with Anya the next time they are alone before following after Clarke so they can leave.

-

The three women decide to eat at Lexa favorite diner across town after learning that she has not had a chance to go there since her release. Walking in, they slide into one of the booths and place their orders without even needing to glance at the menus. As they waited for their drinks and food to arrive, they engage in a bit of small talk before the subject matter shifts almost exclusively to Lexa and what she has been doing since she has been out. Lexa stays quiet as much as she possibly can while Clarke tentatively asks questions, relying on Anya to provide most of the answers while she eats her meal.

“Oh, and get this, Clarke. Maunon Corp even had the nerve to call the bar and offer Lexa her job back,” Anya tells the blonde as she angrily stabs at her scrambled eggs and shoves the bite into her mouth.

“They what?” Clarke snaps, visibly upset by the new information as she looks over at Lexa. "Please tell me she's joking."

Lexa reluctantly shakes her head _no_ and explains, “Cage and Emerson are just trying to save their business’ image. Smart move in theory. It’s a shame I am not dumb enough to buy into it.”

“Wow, I hate those assholes," Clarke spits out in a low tone.

“You and I both,” Anya assures, just as infuriated by the situation as Clarke was, before trying to redirect the conversation back towards a lighter tone by teasing, “Thankfully, Lexa is doing well for herself despite them. She’s adapting relatively well to working at the bar and is hopefully going to finding her own place soon so she can finally get out of my hair.”

Lexa cannot help but notice the look of disappointment flash across Clarke’s face after hearing the news, bright blue eyes momentarily flicking over meet her gaze before glancing away once more. The moment is gone almost as soon as it begins, and she quickly chalks it up to imagining things and rolls her eyes at her cousin as she carries on the conversation by telling Anya, “Aw, you know you are going to miss me when I’m gone.”

"Yeah, we’ll just have to wait and see about that. For now, I’ll just have to live with having you as a temporary roommate, which actually reminds me! Clarke, would you mind bringing Lexa's computer over to my place? She misses her video games," Anya inquires as she playfully nudges the brunette with her shoulder.

Lexa takes a brief moment to glare at her cousin before telling the other woman, "You really don't have to, Clarke. I'm planning to build a new PC, anyways."

"No, it wouldn't be a problem. When is your next off day?"

"Tuesday," Anya quickly cuts in to ensure Lexa does not have a chance to come up with an excuse.

"Perfect. I'll drop it off sometime on Tuesday, then. Oh, and I also have a gallery showing on Saturday if you aren’t busy and would like to come, Lexa. Anya already has all the information, but I can get you an actual invitation if you want one.”

Unable to find it in her to turn down the woman’s invitation, Lexa responds, “Sure, I would love to go, but you don't have to worry about the invitation. Like you said, I can just get the details from Ahn.”

“Awesome,” Clarke hums out with a small grin. “Anyways, do either of you mind if we head out? As much as I'd love to stick around, I unfortunately have a few errands I need to take care of for the showing.”

When neither woman objects, they flag down their waitress so they can pay their tabs and leave. Once Clarke is long gone and the two cousins are standing in front of Anya's apartment, Lexa recalls the earlier conversation had with Clarke and asks, "So, would you like to explain why you have a day set aside each week to hang out with my ex?”

"I proposed that we start having brunch together on Sundays because she needed someone to be there for her while you were gone,” Anya answers honestly as she unlocks the door and steps inside, knowing Lexa will follow shortly behind her. “You told us to be there for her, so that is exactly what we did. When Clarke was sad and refused leave the house for weeks on end, Uncle Gustus started inviting her on hikes to give her an excuse to go outside and get some fresh air. When we heard she was struggling to make ends meet, Lincoln introduced her to a curator friend who helps run a local gallery. When I noticed she was lonely, I suggested we start meeting up for weekly brunch dates. Her friends were there for her, too, of course. Raven and Octavia will still sometimes join us for brunch, and we regularly hang out at the bar to just let loose and forget about our problems for a little while. Every single one of us understood your situation and helped support Clarke as best as we could, just like you asked us to do in your absence."

"Well, I appreciate you all for doing that, I really do, but what I don’t get is why am I just now finding out about all this. Why didn’t anyone tell me?"

"Because we know you have enough on your plate without us making you feel even worse than you already do. We just want you to be happy. _Both_ of you."

"Well, thank you. I really am grateful for all of your efforts to help ease her pain," Lexa reassures before finally realizing something Anya had mentioned. "Wait, what was that you said about Clarke having trouble making ends meet? Everything was supposed to have been sorted to where Clarke had complete access to all my funds. There shouldn’t have been any problems with that."

Anya releases a long sigh at the question and glances over at her with a sad expression, already knowing she does not have the answer Lexa is searching for. "Look, I’m sorry, but that's something you are going to have to take up with Clarke. This is just between you and her."

Lexa involuntarily frowns at the woman’s response but still nods her head in understanding. She knows her and Clarke are going to have to sit down and talk about everything at some point. It is only a matter of time before they are forced to discuss what happened during the three years since their break up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for checking out this chapter. This story is an idea I've been playing around with for a very long time, so I am so excited to finally see it slowly start to unfold. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed reading Chapter 2, and I'll do my best to have the next one posted as soon as I possibly can.
> 
> http://loveintechnicolor.tumblr.com/


	3. Reminder

Lexa cannot help but heave a sigh of relief as she flops down on top of Anya’s couch. After another long day of apartment shopping, the only thing the brunette longs for now is some much needed rest. Releasing a soft, contented hum, she allows her eyes to momentarily flutter closed before hearing her cousin suddenly speak up from the kitchen across the room.

“Hey, Linc called while you were gone. He wanted me to let you know Maunon Corp apparently called the bar again.”

“Fantastic,” Lexa groans out in a sarcastic tone.

“I know, right? That's exactly what I thought when he told me,” Anya agreed with an understanding frown. “Anyway, he said he tried to call you, but you didn't pick up.”

“Yeah, I put it on silent while I was out apartment hunting,” Lexa recalls as she arches her back to fish the device out of her back pocket and readjust the volume. She is just about to lock the screen once more when she notices a new text message just below Lincoln’s missed call. “Did he happen say what they wanted?” she questions with a furrowed brow before shutting off the screen and letting the phone flop down onto her chest, assuming Lincoln had simply texted her when she didn’t answer.

“They apparently told him they regret to hear that you have chosen to turn down their job offer, but they understand given the current circumstances. Now, they wish to discuss more pressing personal matters.”

“Yeah, as in negotiating a settlement deal instead of me taking their asses to court.”

Anya gives her a sympathetic look as she glances up from adding the potatoes and carrots to the roast she is preparing and replies, “Do you know what you are going to do about that yet?"

Rolling her head over to gaze at the other woman, Lexa quietly admits, "No, not really. I've been reading up on a few similar cases in between meetings with my lawyer, and all the stories I’ve heard about thus far are just really disheartening. The fact that it could take months for Maunon and I to battle it out in a courtroom is bad enough, but then you factor in how much longer it might be for me to even see the money.  I'm just really tired, you know?  I am _so_ exhausted, and I just- I’m ready to move on with my life. I am sick of dealing with all this corporate bullshit and being stuck in the rut I’ve been living in for the past six years."

Glancing back up at the ceiling, the brunette releases a long, drawn out sigh. After a brief pause to think over her next words, she reluctantly mumbles, "I'll probably just end up taking them up on their offer just so I can finally be done with all this crap. Hell, I’m at the point where I don't even really care about the money, to be completely honest. Money isn't going to fix my life or buy back my happiness. It's not going to make-" Lexa cannot help but pause mid-sentence as she feels herself getting choked up at the sudden thought of Clarke never loving her again, but she quickly blinks back the tears as she quickly forces down the urge to cry and redirects her frame of mind, explaining, “What I’m trying to say is that I have plenty of funds. I don't need Maunon’s money or anyone else's for that matter."

Anya nods her head in acknowledgement but decides not to press the issue any further, choosing to change the subject instead by inquiring, "So, what's the plan if you aren't taking your old job back? Work at Trigedu forever?"

"Absolutely not,” Lexa immediately refuses, unable to stop the small, strained chuckle that comes bubbling out of her throat at the thought. “No offense, but working in a bar is not exactly my ideal profession," she confesses before giving a slight pause as she thinks over whether or not to disclose her actual plans. "I have recently been back in contact with Indra. She left Maunon Corp a few years ago to form her own company and has recently offered me a position. It will only be a mid-level job, but she says there is a more than likely chance that I will be moved up shortly after I start."

"Oh, so you're going right back to being a full-time computer nerd? _Perfect._ "

Feeling a smirk pull at the corners her lips, she points her finger in a pseudo-threatening matter and replies, "Hush, you."

"Hey, I'm not the one who filled her entire basement with rogue computer parts. I swear you had enough left over graphics cards and DPUs, or whatever the hell they’re called, to last you a lifetime.”

"That's not how computer parts work, especially since most of those spare parts where either fried or outdated hardware. Also, I think you mean CPUs," Lexa instantly corrected with a small chuckle.

"Meh, same thing," Anya shrugged off with a wave of her hand.

"No, they are actually quite different. DPU stands for data processing unit and is used when referring to cloud computing while CPU stands for central processing unit and is an essential component of a computer’s _quote-unquote_ brain."

"Thank you for instantly confirming that you are, in fact, a nerd."

"Yeah? Well, at least I’ve never had to wake someone up in the middle of the night to wipe my computer after it got a virus from a sketchy porn site," Lexa shot back with a playful smirk, referencing one of the more colorful memories from when they were college roommates.

"Oh, so you usually just got rid of them yourself?"

"Yea-Wait, what?" Lexa quickly tried to amend as a surge of surprise caused her body to shoot up into a sitting position, but it was already too late.

"Ha! Busted,” Anya cheers as she slips on her coat and picks up her purse.

"No, that's not what I meant to sa-"

"Whoops! Sorry, Lex, but I totally forgot to pick up a bottle of wine to go with dinner. Mind keeping an eye on the slow cooker while I make a quick store run?” Without waiting for an answer, she continues, “Cool, thanks! Be back in a bit!”

“Stop, you know that wasn't-“

“Yeah, sure, whatever. I _totally_ believe you. Anyways, I’m happy to hear you're planning to work in technical support again. I know it has never really been an easy job for you considering how awkward you are over the phone, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it again in no time," the other woman teases, reaching over to give her cousin’s shoulder a little pat in fake reassurance before making her way over to the front door.

"Anya, I will _not_ be working tech support. Are you even listening to me? Anya? Anya!" Lexa yells out after her in a last ditch effort to regain her attention, but her attempts are cut short when she watches the door slam shut behind her cousin. Rolling her eyes, she releases a frustrated groan and allows her body to slump back down onto the couch cushions to hopefully get some rest before her cousin returns.

All is quiet in the apartment as the brunette feels her body start to relax and her breathing begin to slow. She listens to the quiet whooshing of fan blades spinning and the soft pattering of Cat’s feet as he walks across the room to plop himself down in the sunlight shining through the nearby window. For a single moment, her entire world is at peace.

Her absent-minded thoughts slowly drift off to happier times, focusing on memories from when she was still a young and ambitious computer science major working her way through college. Her junior year, she managed to land a job in the campus’ computer help center, providing technical assistance to fellow students. One cold December night, just before finals, an exhausted pre-med student with wavy blonde hair and tired blue eyes walked into their main office with a computer bag slung over her shoulder. From that moment on, she knew she was a goner.

_Knock, knock, knock._

With a sudden loud rapping at the door, the apartment’s tranquil atmosphere is abruptly shattered. Audibly groaning at the unexpected interruption, Lexa grumpily rolls off the couch to see who is at the door. Releasing a lazy yawn into the back of her hand, she unlocks the deadbolt and is instantly blinded by the bright afternoon sun as she pulls open the door. The woman lazily blinks her eyes a few times before looking through squinted eyes to find the woman she had just been daydreaming about currently standing at her cousin's doorstep.

“Ugh, please tell me I didn’t wake you up again,” Clarke instantly groans when she notices the half-asleep look on the brunette’s face.

“Nah, you didn’t,” Lexa tries to assure, but she can instantly tell that the woman sees right through her lie and amends, “Okay, maybe just a little, but it’s fine. What’s up?”

“I just came over to drop off a few of your things. I tried to text you earlier to remind you I was coming by today, but I never heard back from you so I texted Anya instead. She said you would be home this afternoon and for me to just show up whenever.”

“Oh,” she trails off as she slowly drags her eyes away from the blonde to glance at the cellphone resting on the coffee table. “That text was from you? I thought it was from Lincoln, so I never actually opened it.” Lexa hears the blonde release an airy giggle at the comment, drawing her attention back to the other woman.

“It was my own fault. I should have known better than to try and text you.”

“Hey, I return people’s texts,” Lexa begins to protest, but Clarke quickly shoots her a look that causes her to instantly cave as she reluctantly adds, “Eventually.”

“Hours, days, or sometimes even _weeks_ later,” the blonde teases with a knowing grin.

“Not everyone’s texts. I always made sure to answer yours.”

“True, very true,” Clarke admits with a small, knowing smirk as she shifts her gaze down to her feet. Suddenly, the blonde appears to remember something she had forgotten, causing Lexa to follow her line of sight and watch as the blonde lightly nudges a familiar looking computer tower with the tip of her shoe, informing, “Here’s your PC, by the way. You know, this thing is _much_ heavier than it looks.”

Clarke’s playful tone immediately goes over Lexa’s head as she rushes pick up the device before the other woman has a chance to do so herself, hastily replying, “You really didn’t have to go through the hassle of bringing this to me, Clarke. I could have gone and gotten it myself.”

"I know, but I wanted to do this for you,” the artist assures with a nonchalant shrug and small smile that Lexa quickly returns.

"Well, I really do appreciate it. Seriously."

"No problem at all. The monitor and all your main peripherals are in the car, too. I even managed to somehow fit your gaming chair into the back,” Clarke chuckles as she awkwardly scratches at the back of her neck, doing her best to make light of the situation. "I, uh, wasn't sure if you had a desk or anything. Anya said you could set everything up at the dining room table since no one ever uses it, but if you'd rather have a desk or want anything else from the house, I can make a second trip."

"No, it's okay, Clarke. I can always get it later when I have my own place. For now, I would love nothing more than to sit down and relax. Would you like to stick around for a little while? Anya should be back from her wine run any minute now."

"Sure, I’d love to, but what about all your other stuff?"

"We'll get it later. Come on in," she answers with a warm smile as she opens the door a little wider to let the other woman inside before shutting it behind her. Placing the tower at the foot of the couch, Lexa asks, “Would you like something to drink? I had to learn how to mix a bunch of fancy cocktails while working at Trigedu, and Ahn has a fully stocked bar. I can make you one if you’d like.”

“Thanks, but I’ll just start off with a water on the rocks for now.”

Lexa gives a light chuckle at the other woman’s remark, making her way toward the kitchen as she responds, “Alright, one water on the rocks coming right up. Would you like a spritz of lemon?”

“Yes, please. So, how _is_ working at the bar? If you don’t mind me asking, of course,” Clarke questions while slipping onto one of the kitchen stools so she can watch Lexa make her drink from the other side of the bar.

“It’s-Well, you know I’ve never really been all that interested in working there. I'm mostly just doing it to keep myself busy for the time being.”

Clarke nods her head in understanding as she briefly glances down at the granite countertop in front of her before her lips pull into a reassuring smile. "I know it's never been you're passion or anything, but I'm really glad you at least have something to do while you get everything figured out. Plus, it gives you some extra time to catch up with Anya and Lincoln."

"Yeah, I've really missed them. I’m also happy to see the bar doing so well, especially after its rough start."

Clarke nods her head in agreement, replying, "You made a good investment, Lex. All three of you should feel very proud."

"Yeah, I suppose we should, especially Linc and Ahn,” Lexa hums out thoughtfully as the thinks back to before Trigedu Bar and Grill was one of the most popular hot spots in town.

In its humble beginnings, the building that would house Anya and Lincoln’s future bar could only be considered a fixer upper at best, and they were struggling to find ways to finance the necessary renovations the establishment would need. After half a year of watching her cousins attempt to find ways to finance the needed repairs, Lexa ended up using a large portion of her savings to enter in as a partial owner at the bar so Anya and Lincoln could have a decent chance at getting their business off the ground.

During this time, Clarke never once questioned Lexa’s decision. If anything, the woman loved her even more for it. She knew better than anyone that Lexa was not even a little bit interested in owning a bar, but the brunette believed in her cousins’ vision enough to invest her money into their future business. When Lexa first brought up the idea to her then-girlfriend, Clarke eagerly supported Lexa’s willingness to help her family because she fully understood how important they are to Lexa.

As Lexa’s thoughts shift back to the present, she finds herself looking into the same caring eyes she fell in love with. Suddenly realizing that she had been watching the woman throughout her reminiscing, Lexa quickly retracts back into herself as she breaks eye contact, rushing to find an excuse for her blatant staring as she stutters out, “Sorry, I-I, uh-“

“Hey, Lex, I also picked up some stuff to make baked ziti. I was-“ Anya suddenly interrupts as she barges into the apartment with a few grocery bags hanging from her hands before noticing Clarke. Instantly realizing she had just walked in on something, the woman's voice briefly trails off as she gives the pair a suspicious look before continuing to say, “I was thinking about maybe making it in on Thursday if that’s cool with you.”

“Uh, yeah, that sounds great. Here, let me help you bring everything in,” Lexa willingly volunteers, suddenly eager to escape the curious gazes of both women. She briefly glances over at the blonde as she places the glass of water on the counter in front of her, reassuring, “I’ll be right back, Clarke. Please feel free to make yourself at home.”

By the time Lexa makes it back with the rest of their groceries in tow, she discovers her cousin has successfully managed to mend the awkward atmosphere she left behind as the two women catch up with what they have been up to since they last saw one another.

Noticing that her cousin has returned, Anya asks, "Need any help putting everything away?"

"Nah, don't even worry about it. Why don't you and Clarke go ahead and grab a plate of food, and I'll meet you in there with three glasses of wine when I'm done," Lexa offers as she makes her way over to the fridge to unload the first bag of food.

"Are you sure? I can help if you want," Clarke volunteers before watching the cousins snap their gaze over to her.

"Absolutely not. You're our guest," Lexa and Anya simultaneously refute, causing them to quickly glance at one another with quirked brows before all three women burst out with laughter.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh, sorry for trying to lend a hand," Clarke teases between laughs as Anya hands her a clean plate. "I should have known better than to offer assistance to a Woods, let alone two."

"Yeah, I figured you would have learned by now, but I guess not."

"Clarke Griffin? Not offer to help? That is unheard of," Lexa chuckles with a shake of her head after hearing her cousin's remark, earning her an exaggerated eye roll from the blonde in question as she and Anya make their way into the dinner table. After putting away the groceries, Lexa brings out two glasses of wine for the pair before returning to the kitchen to grab a plate and glass of her own, seamlessly joining the conversation without missing a beat.

Once they are done eating, Lexa and Anya move to clear away all the food and dirty dishes, all the while refusing to accept any help their company once again offers them. Clarke eventually relents, knowing she is no match for the Woods' hardheadedness once they have made up their mind about something and instead continues their discussion from her seat at the table.

“Well, it’s been fun, but I think I need head out. I still have some last minute prep to do at the gallery first thing in the morning,” Clarke informs a little while later as she stands up from her seat. Glancing over at the blonde standing across the room from her, she adds, “Thanks again for dinner, Anya. Your cooking was delicious, as usual.”

“No problem. You know you are always welcome here. Come back anytime.”

“I’d be careful if I were you, Anya. I might actually take you up on that offer one of these days,” she teases, causing the three women to share in a light chuckle.

“Fine by me. Anyways, good luck with all the gallery stuff. I can’t wait to finally see all the new pieces you've been working on,” Anya replies as she walks over to give Clarke a farewell hug.

“Thanks. I’m pretty excited to finally get to reveal them to everyone.”

Pulling out of the older Woods’ arms, Clarke glances over at the brunette that was still standing across the room from her and tilts her head towards the door, silently asking the woman to walk her out to her car. Lexa easily accepts as she makes her way towards the front entrance, quickly letting Anya know that she will be right back as the two make their way outside. Once they make it down to where her car is parked, Clarke notices the computer chair still shoved into her backseat and darts her gaze over to Lexa.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot all your stuff was still in here. Let me help you bring it back up," she offers as she quickly moves to assist Lexa in unloading her things.

"Nah, I got it. You get home and have yourself a good night's rest," Lexa responds as she heaves a large box of computer accessories onto the seat of her gaming chair and shuts the car door.

“Lex-“

“I got it, Clarke, and I promise to make Anya help me if I can’t manage to carry it all upstairs myself. No need to worry,” she assures with a broad grin as she opens the driver’s side door for the woman.

“Ah, of course. Always the gentlewoman,” Clarke comments with a knowing gleam in her eye. “I’m happy to see that some things never change.”

Lexa cannot help but shoot her a broad grin in return, simply confirming, “Same here.”

They both awkwardly stand there for a long moment, neither making a move to leave while simultaneously not knowing what they should do next. Desperate to know if even the littlest shreds of the love they once shared somehow survived the years since their breakup, Lexa abruptly begins discussing an idea that had been floating around in her head for a while without really thinking about all the possible repercussions of her words.

"Look, I know a lot has happened between us over the years, Clarke, but I am really hoping we can maybe find a way to salvage at least part of our relationship," she suggests as she slowly sticks her hand out as an offering. "What do you say? Do you think we can maybe still be friends?"

"Oh, uh, sure,” Clarke responds in a surprised tone, looking mildly bewildered at the sudden offer as she moves to grasp the brunette’s hand with her own and gives it a firm shake. “Yeah, okay. Of course. Friends it is."

They continue holding hands for a few beats longer than necessary. Then, the blonde suddenly seems to shake off her stunned expression as she maneuvers their hands so that they were holding onto one another’s pinkies. Clarke’s grin abruptly transforms to a look of warning as she asks, “And you promise you will get Anya to help you if you can’t carry all this stuff up by yourself?”

“Yes, Clarke, I swear,” Lexa chuckles as she watches the artist fight to maintain a serious face.

“No crosses count?”

“No crosses count,” the brunette immediately confirms.

“Even while crossing?”

“Get in the car, you goober.”

“Not until you tell me.”

“Fine,” Lexa concedes with a playful sigh and roll of her eyes. “Yes, Clarke Abbigail Griffin, I promise to all the previous conditions while also acknowledging that no crosses count even if I were currently crossing my fingers, which I am not. Are you happy now?”

“Yep, I sure am!” Clarke chirps while seemingly unable to hold back her broad, shiteatting grin any longer. “So, I'll see you on Saturday?”

Lexa nods head in confirmation as she slowly lets the woman’s finger slip from her grasp, reassuring, “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

“Okay, good. Until then, I suppose.”

“Yeah, until then.”

“Good night, Lex.”

“Good night, Clarke,” Lexa replies, making sure the blonde was fully inside the vehicle before gently shutting the door for her and taking a step back to give the woman some room to back up. Once Clarke's car is out of sight, Lexa releases a breath she was not aware she was holding and allows her shoulders to slump forward slightly. Glancing down to stare at all the gaming accessories she had not seen in years, she slowly picks up the chair that is still holding the box of peripherals and starts making her way back up to her cousin's apartment.

Opening the front door to the apartment, she rolls the computer chair into the room while doing her best to ignore the scrutinizing look Anya was giving her. The feeling of being under her cousin’s gaze quickly becomes too much, however, as she turns around and quietly snaps in a defensive tone, "I know what you’re thinking, Ahn, but Clarke and I are just friends. Nothing more."

"Yeah, but that's not what you really want, is it?"

Lexa pulls her lips into a tight grimace as she clenches her teeth together, thinking over how exactly she wants to respond before answering, "For now, it will have to be enough."

"I’m sorry to break it to you, Lex, but you're a dumbass,” Anya retorts with a disappointed shake of her head, wishing her cousin could just tell her ex how she really feels instead of settling for the safer option.

"Yeah, I know I am," she easily admits as she pushes her gaming accessories towards the corner of the room where her computer tower temporarily sits, already lamenting the fact that she has quite literally friend-zoned herself within the first two times of seeing Clarke after finding herself back on the outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. I would like to start off by apologizing for it taking so long to update this story. This chapter took a while for me to get as close to how I had envisioned it, but I am mostly content with how it turned out. Please feel free to let me know what you think, and if you liked what you read here, I also have a little unrelated one-shot that I posted a while back to help get me inspired to finish writing out this chapter. Anyways, thank you again for the continued support, and I hope to be back soon with another update!
> 
> http://loveintechnicolor.tumblr.com/


	4. When We Were Young

"Lex, are you done _yet_?" Anya groans out for what feels like the hundredth time as she glances down at her phone to check the time. "I should have known better than to think you would be ready in a decent amount of time.”

"I know, I know. I just-Which do you think would look better on me?" Lexa inquires as she holds up two similar-looking dresses for her cousin to assess.

"To be honest, I think the same thing as I did ten minutes ago when you showed me those three _different_ dress shirt and pant combos you put together,” Anya states, making air quotes around the word to show she still didn’t actually agree with her cousin’s claim that the presented options were, in fact, different. “Both dresses look exactly the same. Just flip a coin or something, and let’s get going."

"No, look. This one has a floral design embroidered into the fabric," she explains, holding up the one in her right hand before refocusing on the other option to add, "while this is just a simple black dress. See?" Lexa gives a brief pause to allow Anya time to process what she believes to be notable distinctions between the two garments, but when she spots the unimpressed look the woman suddenly sends her way, she throws both garments down and grumbles, "Screw it, I'm just going to wear the dark navy dress I wore to Luna's wedding forever ago. By the way, can we, um-? Do you think we could still maybe-?"

Already knowing what her cousin is trying to say, Anya answers, “Yes, I’m still okay with us swinging by the florist on the way, but only if you hurry your ass up. Now, go finish getting ready before you make us late, Lover Girl."

"Alright, give me twenty minutes," Lexa excitedly chirps as she scrambles into the apartment's main bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

-

The two women walk into the gallery a little over an hour later with Anya still playfully scolding her little cousin for driving too slow when she notices Lexa abruptly halt her steps. Watching the brunette’s eyes widen slightly as she sucks in a soundless gasp, the older Woods traces her line of sight to find a familiar blonde walking across the room with her hair down in gentle waves and a form-fitting dress that smoothly hugs her soft curves.

"Wow,” Lexa quietly murmurs in an awed tone just loud enough for her cousin to hear.

"Alright, Commander Hearteyes, let's go tell Clarke hello before you start drooling everywhe-" Anya starts to tease, but she abruptly cuts herself off when she notices something catch Clarke’s attention.

The pair silently watch as the woman makes a beeline across the room before walking up to an unfamiliar gentleman with long brown hair who appears to be about their age. Giving him a light tap on the shoulder, Clarke waits for a look of recognition to cross the stranger’s face before greeting him with a tight hug.

It isn’t long before the blonde pulls away from the man, who appears to make a comment that spurs him to give an exaggerated wag of his brow as he takes a moment to look the woman up and down. In reaction to his comment, Clarke instantly gives the stranger’s shoulder a playful shove as her cheeks visibly heat up, resulting in a bright, triumphant smile to peak out from under his thick beard as they both share in a round of laughter. The two then continue to converse for a little while longer before the man shoots Clarke a quick wink and moves to walk away, leaving the woman standing there alone.

"Who was that?" Lexa hesitantly asks, almost as if she is afraid to hear the answer after witnessing the pair’s somewhat flirty interaction.

"I don't know. I've never seen him before," Anya responds with a furrowed brow as she wracks her brain, trying her best to think of who the man might be. Slowly glancing over to check on how her cousin is processing the interaction, Anya notices Lexa has visibly stiffened up with the flowers she had purchased for the artist clutched tightly in the hand now hanging limply at her side. Just as Anya is about to say something to try and cheer Lexa up, she watches the woman abruptly mask her emotions and shifts her gaze over to find that Clarke making her way over to where they stood.

"Hey, welcome to the exhibit. I’m glad you both could make it,” Clarke greets once she is within a few feet of the two.

"Thanks! We haven't really had a chance to look around yet, but the pieces I have seen are absolutely stunning. Though to be honest, I don't think there's ever been a piece of your artwork that I haven't loved, so I’m not all that surprised that these are all just as amazing, if not more." Lexa complements with a nervous grin. Still trying a little too hard to hide any trace of her previous thoughts, she shoves the bouquet of lilies and gardenias out towards the woman and continues to inform, "Oh, these are from Anya and me, by the way. We hope you like them."

Anya carefully peers over at the brunette from the corner of her eye with a quirked brow, knowing that Lexa wasn't supposed to include her name in that statement, but she decides to remain silent, nonetheless.

“Oh, my favorite!” Clarke beams with a warm grin as she takes the blossoms from Lexa’s grasp, her gaze lingering on the brunette as she leans forward to breathe in their floral scent. “They’re gorgeous. Thank you so much.”

A bashful smile slowly creeps its way across Lexa’s lips at the other woman’s statement as she give a curt nod of her head in acknowledgement. “You’re welcome, Clarke,” Lexa replies, leaning over to give Anya a little nudge when the other woman remains silent.

“Oh yeah, sure. You’re, um-You’re welcome. Anyways, I see Raven over there with Lincoln and Octavia," Anya informs as she glances over at Clarke, already thinking of a plan to maybe help her cousin out a bit. Nodding her head towards Lexa, she asks, "Mind keeping this one company while I let her know we're here? Maybe even give Lex a little tour if you have some time?"

"Ahn, she’s probably busy. Just let me go with you, and-" Lexa attempts to argue, but Clarke answers the other blonde's question before she has a chance to protest any further.

"Actually, I think I can probably manage that."

"Great, then I'll catch up with the two of you later," Anya responds as she walks off with a small wave goodbye.

After rushing to place the bouquet of flowers in the back with the rest of her things, Clarke personally begins leading Lexa around the gallery, allowing the brunette time to glace over and draw her own observations from each piece she has created.

At one point, the pair comes across a silhouette painting of a man holding hands with what Lexa assumes was supposed to be his young daughter, the night sky causing any distinct physical features to remain hidden. The only details she is able to make out is the large number eight and the name _GRIFFIN_ printed out in all caps across the back of the little girl’s slightly oversized jersey. The pair almost appear to be glowing in the dim moonlight, which acts as the only source of light besides the occasional lamppost lining the street ahead of them.

Lexa takes a moment to read over the descriptive plate that is posted beside the painting, which reads _Evening Strolls Home._ The title instantly makes her recall hearing stories about the walks Clarke and her father, Jake, used to take while making their way home from the blonde’s soccer practices when she was younger. Assuming the illustration is meant to commemorate those times between her and her father, Lexa looks back over the artwork as if she were looking at it in a new light. “Wow, this is stunning, Clarke,” she praises as she looks over at the artist. “I bet your dad absolutely loves it.”

Her ex pauses for a long while, breathing out an airy sigh Lexa just barely catches as she stares up at the painting. “Yeah, maybe,” Clarke hums out, her thoughts sounding a million miles away as she continues to study it with an unwavering gaze before slowly turning to continue towards the next display. She only makes it a few paces, however, before realizing the other woman is not following her and looks back to inquire, “You coming, Lex?”

“Oh, um, yes! Of course,” Lexa answers in a slightly startled tone as she chances one last curious glance at the painting before moving to catch up to the blonde.

They make it through a few more pieces before Clarke eventually leads her to a painting of a large, grassy field surrounded by large buildings. Above, the clouds are parted to show two star clusters placed right next to one another in the night sky, the names of which she is able to easily recognize. Looking at the name plate, she finds out that this particular illustration is entitled _Stargazing_.

"Look familiar?" Clarke suddenly inquires, pulling Lexa’s attention away from the painting so she can gaze over at the artist with an unreadable expression.

"Yeah, of course it does. It's our favorite spot on the campus knoll," Lexa whispers in awe, immediately feeling herself get swept up by the memories of their past. “Remember that one time we sat out there until _way_ early in the morning, just talking about our life ambitions as we gazed up at the stars?”

“Of course, Ursa Major. That’s the same night we came up with our constellations for one another.”

“Ah, well I’m glad I’m not the only one who remembers, Leo the Lion,” Lexa teases lightly before asking, "Is this for sale?"

"Unfortunately, no. This and the one of my dad and I are the only two that will stay with me. There was a creativity lull right after you and I-after we, um,” _Broke-up._ Clarke doesn’t have to explain it with words. Lexa already understands what she is trying to say and can’t help but feel a sense of guilt bubbling up from within her once she notices the sudden shift within the woman standing beside her.

Attempting to blink away the tears that have involuntarily gathered in her eyes, Clarke forces herself to continue as she states, “Anyway, you get what I am trying to say. I lost the inspiration to paint for a little bit, and they were two of the very first ones I painted once I finally felt ready to start creating art again, which is part of the reason why I’m so attached to them. Then, I realized how much they fit in with the rest of the pieces I had prepared for this particular showing, so I decided to just go ahead and put them on display.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. They are both equally remarkable paintings that I’m sure all of your guests feel absolutely honored to have a chance to see.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly how they feel,” Clarke teases with a sarcastic smirk.

“They do if they are anything like me,” Lexa playfully declares before returning to a more serious tone. “I really am being honest, just to be clear. They really are amazing works of art, and I’m happy that you were given an opportunity to put them on display for all these people to observe.” A moment of silence passes between them before Lexa quietly calls out, "Hey, Clarke.”

“Yeah, Lex?”

“Can I talk to you about something real fast. I-I don’t want to ruin tonight for you or anything. It’s just hard for me to find a right time to bring this up, so I just figured-“ Quickly realizing that right now was possibly the worst time to try and bring up this topic, she instantly tries to retract her statement by telling the woman, “You know what? Nevermind. This is your night, and I shouldn’t-“

“Lexa.”

The brunette nervously peers back up at the sound of the woman calmly speaking her name and responds, “Yes?”

Stooping down slightly to see Lexa's eyes, the artist waits for the brunette to meet her gaze before informing, “I don’t care where we are or what either of us have going on. You can always talk to me about anything. That is one of many things that will never change between us, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Good, so what’s on your mind?”

Furrowing her brow, Lexa shifts her focus to the floor below as she quietly mutters, “You didn't use my money, Clarke."

It only takes Clarke a brief moment to realize the full meaning behind Lexa's words before she is nodding her head to confirm, "You're right. I didn't."

"Why?"

"Because it didn't feel right to use my ex’s money, especially while you were unjustly locked up in prison."

Despite already having come to terms with the fact that they were no longer together, Lexa cannot help but flinch at the blonde verbally addressing them as such. Regardless, she fights to suppress her inner turmoil as she clarifies, "I know, Clarke, but it still might have saved you some strife. Like you said, you experienced a rough period when you couldn’t create art, and that’s fine. I’ve been there during a few of your brief artistic lulls, so I understanding how tight money can get during those times. Anya has hinted that it was not always easy for you to make ends meet while I was, er, _gone_ , and I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to say that you could have used my money to live a little more comfortably during that time, even if it was only enough to help cover what would have been my half of the bills and expenses. Just _something_ to help you out."

"True, but it still didn’t feel right to do that without you there with me. Plus, who knows? Maybe I might still be trying to get my work seen if I hadn’t struggled a bit. When I think about it that way, it sort of makes all the hard times worth it. "

"Yes, I guess you’re right," Lexa replies as she glances around the crowded room that is full of prospective buyers. Something about that fact causes a sudden inconsolable feeling to bury itself deep within her chest. It's almost as if Clarke really had moved on, just like the brunette has always feared. Focusing back on the painting in front of them, she adds, "I always knew you'd make it one day, Clarke. You are far too talented to not be noticed, and I feel very fortunate to have a chance to witness just how far you’ve come."

"Thank you, Lexa,” Clarke crooned, a sad smile pulling at her lips. “It seriously means a lot to hear you say that."

Lexa sucks in a deep breath before forcing her lips pull into a bittersweet smile of her own as she takes another look around at the gallery that is currently filled with her ex's amazing artwork, not having it in her to meet the woman’s eyes as she mentions, "You know, the first thing to register in my mind after getting arrested was the question of what would happen to you if they really did find me guilty. Now, I guess I finally have my answer."

Clarke gets noticeably choked up at the admission as she silently nods her head in understanding. A few moments later, she finally manages to quietly croak out, "I still really, really hate Cage and Emerson."

“I know you do,” Lexa softly chuckles, an underlying sadness accompanying her tone. After noticing the blonde trying to fight back the urge to cry, Lexa's first instinct is to pull the woman into her arms and try to offer her some form of comfort. She quickly worries it might cross whatever new unspoken agreement they have put in place in order to continue on as friends, however, and simply settles for shuffling closer to the blonde while allowing a comfortable silence to develop between them. Eventually, her curiosity gets the best of her, and she moves hold her hands behind her back as she squares her shoulders and prepares herself to ask the woman, "Are you happy, Clarke?"

The artist takes a moment to process the full weight of the question, and a few long seconds pass before she finally concludes, "Yeah, I'd like to think so. Things were hard for a long time, but it's all gotten easier to manage with time."

"Ah, good. I’m glad," Lexa responds thoughtfully before giving a single nod of her head. All she has ever really cared about is the blonde’s happiness, so hearing the woman’s relatively positive answer is more than enough for her in that moment.

Suddenly, she feels a gentle hand being placed on her forearm as Clarke adds, "You know, you should do what makes you happy, too, Lex. You deserve it more than anyone else after everything you’ve been through."

"I know. I'm trying," she murmurs just loud enough for the other woman to hear, feeling her shoulders relax slightly at the woman’s calming touch. Doing her best to lighten the mood, she announces, "Anyways, enough about all this serious stuff. Let’s go find the others. I’m sure they are dying to tell you how remarkable all your pieces are.”

“You and your smooth talking, I swear! You always somehow manage to find a way to talk things up to make them sound better than they actually are.”

“No, I’m just being honest," Lexa assures with a nonchalant shrug and hints of a suppressed smirk playing across her lips.

“Sure, Lex. Whatever you say,” Clarke teases back as the two turn to make their way back towards where all their friends have gathered and take turns greeting the group.

"Hey, Lexa, it's good to see you. It's been a while," Jasper speaks up once the rest of the group has had their turn, and Lexa barely manages to relish in the hopeful feeling that everything will be just as it used to be before she notices something changes in his features as he announces, "I have a question that I've been dying to ask you for a really long time."

The comment instantly causes Monty to snap his gaze over to Jasper, narrowing his eyes at his friend as if he already knows where his thoughts are headed and snaps, "Dude, we already told you not to bring that up. Will you please just leave it?"

"Aw, come on. I honestly don’t see why all of you are making such a big deal out of me asking her one measly question. I'm just curious to hear about what it was like,” he attempts to reason with a nonchalant shrug.

"Hear about _what_ was like exactly?” Lexa questions with a slight sneer, already having a pretty good idea where the conversation is headed but still wanting to hear Jasper say it out loud nevertheless.

"Prison,” the man answers simply. “I've always heard horror stories about what it is like, and I was just wondering how much was tru-"

"Jasper, what the hell?" Clarke practically growls out, effectively cutting him off.

"No, Clarke, it's fine," Lexa assures through gritted teeth before looks back over to the boy. "I kept my head down and served my time. That is all." Feeling a sudden uneasiness spread throughout the rest of the group, she attempts to hide her apparent discomfort with the situation by looking down at her watch, announcing, “Anyways, it’s getting pretty late. I think I should probably head out.”

Clarke abruptly shifts her gaze over to the woman, her blue eyes instantly softening as she pleads, “Hey, no, Lexa. Please don’t leave. Lincoln already invited everyone to the bar to celebrate.”

“No, I really should go. I'm starting my new job soon, so I need to get used to having a normal sleep schedule again,” Lexa mutters reluctantly, fully aware that it's a weak excuse, but it doesn't matter. She knows no one is going to stop her from leaving, especially after what just happened.

“Okay, can I at least walk you out?”

“Sure.”

Noticing Anya move to follow them, Lexa instantly puts a hand out to halt her movements. “No, go ahead and stay, Ahn. I’ll be fine by myself," she assures before shifting her gaze over to Raven, who is standing at her cousin’s side. “Take care of her tonight, alright? She deserves a fun night out.”

“You got it, Lex," Raven responds with a small salute, trying to lighten the mood as best as she can.

“Good. I’ll see all of you later then,” the brunette tells the rest of the group with a tight lipped smile before making her way back towards the front entrance, followed closely behind by Clarke.

Once they step out into the chilly night air, Clarke crosses her hands over her chest, burrowing further into the warm peacoat she had quickly thrown on before accompanying the brunette outside as she admits, “I really wish you would join us tonight. I’ve missed hanging out with you.”

“I know. I have missed you, too, but we’ll see each other again soon, okay?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Clarke agrees with a hint of disappointment laced in her tone as she glances down at her feet. "Hey, Lex, I know this might be asking for too much too soon, but, would it, um-Do you think it'd be okay if I maybe gave you a hug?" the blonde timidly requests as she nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Less than a second later, she teasingly adds with a small, somewhat forced smirk, "You know, as friends or whatever?"

 “Of course! You know I could never deny you one of my grade-A, award winning hugs,” Lexa concedes with an airy laugh that Clarke easily shares. Carefully slipping her arms around the artist’s waist, she pulls her ex into the same heartfelt embrace they used to frequently share. The two stand there for a long while, simply hugging one another before Lexa realizes she is possibly holding onto Clarke for a little too long. Quickly releasing the woman from her grasp, Lexa takes a small step away and apologizes, “Sorry, I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time now.”

“It’s okay. I completely understand.”

The comment causes Lexa’s heart to give a small flutter as she remembers her earlier internal debate regarding the new unspoken boundaries between her and the blonde, finding comfort in the fact that she is not the only one who has been craving some type of physical closeness with the other. Just as Lexa turns to get in the car, but just as she goes to plop down onto the driver’s seat, she hears Clarke call out, “Don’t to be a stranger, Lex. I still live at the same place, so you should have no trouble finding it if you ever feel randomly inspired to drop by for a visit.”

Lexa cannot help but smile at the reminder that she still lives in the same house they once shared, despite the subtle pang in her chest knowing that she will not be going home with her ex tonight as she responds, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Good night, Clarke."

"Good night, Lexa. Please drive safe."

“You, too. Don’t party too hard, alright?”

“I’ll do my best.”

The two women share a laugh, both silently reminiscing on all the times they’ve shared after a long night of drinking, before Lexa turns away to slip into her car. Releasing a sigh, she buckles her seatbelt and shoves the key in the ignition to start the vehicle, instantly remembering why she is even leaving in the first place and makes a note to drop by the local liquor store on the way back to Anya’s apartment.

-

Anya steps into her apartment in the wee hours of the morning to find Lexa lounging on the couch with a sleeping Cat curled up on her lap and open bottle of _Jack_ clutched tightly in her hand. Shifting her gaze up to study the woman’s face, she finds her blankly staring at the wall across the room with glassy eyes, almost as if she is not aware her cousin has made it home.

“I knew I should have come home with you,” she abruptly tells the woman, causing her cousin’s body give a sudden jolt in surprise.

It takes a moment for Lexa to fully respond, momentarily allowing her eyes to repeatedly flutter in an attempt to blink away the dazed look in her eyes. Once Lexa feels as if she has a better hold of herself, she lazily mumbles, “Nah, it’s okay. I’m fine now.”

"Don't lie, Lex. It looks really unbecoming on you,” the older Woods lightly teases before crouching down in an attempt to make eye contact with her cousin. Giving the brunette a nudge on the knee, she encourages, “Come on, Lex. What's going on in that head of yours?"

“Nothing,” Lexa tries again as she gives the orange tabby a gentle scratch being the ears, but a single glance at her cousin lets her know that Anya is not going to give into her obvious fib. "Okay, fine. Everything is just _so_ completely different now, and it bothers me. I don't really fit in anymore," she explains as she looks over at the other woman. "I mean, who am I kidding? You saw Jasper tonight. It's like I’m an alien or some museum exhibit for him and everyone else to gawk at."

“God, I swear I'm going to beat the crap out of that dumbass,” Anya seethes as she rubs her brow in frustration. Moving to slump down onto the couch beside her cousin, she places a comforting hand on the top of Lexa’s thigh and leans in to force the woman to meet her gaze as she assures, “Lexa, there is absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You’re still the same person we all know and love."

“No, you’re wrong. I’m an outsider. I don’t belong anymore.”

“Lexa, of course you do. I know everything really sucks right now, but this is just a small adjustment period. It’ll get better.”

“But Jasper-“

“Jasper Jordan is a nitwit who needs to learn how to think before he speaks.”

“Why should he? All he did was say what everyone else is already thinking. I tried my best to be optimistic, you know? I had hoped that I’d be able to reintegrate back into the group and maybe even make up for what I’ve lost, but I can’t. I’ll never be able to get any of it back, and to be quite honest, that fact is the one that cuts the deepest.”

“Look, Lexa. I understand you’ve gone through more than any of us can ever imagine, but please, _please_ believe me when I say that statement isn’t true. We all still love you. I love you. Linc and Uncle Gus love you. Raven, Octavia, and all of those damn delinquent friends of theirs: they love you.  Hell, even Clarke, on some level, will always love you no matter what you two are to one another.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“Yes, I do. Anyone with eyes can see that she still carries some sort of affection for you. Whether it be strictly friendly or something more, she will always care a great deal about you and your well-being.”

“I know, but-“ Her resolve wavers as she feels her lower lip start to quiver, her eyes rapidly welling with tears as she admits, "I still love her, Ahn."

"Aw, I know you do, Kid,” the older Woods sighs as she snakes an arm around Lexa’s back and pulls the brunette into her side, allowing the inebriated woman to lull her heavy head onto her shoulder as she quietly repeats a heartfelt, “I know.” Once her cousin has a chance to calm back down, Anya gently suggests, “How about we go get some rest, huh? It’s been a long night."

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea,” Lexa mumbles out in agreement, watching Anya push herself onto her feet before turning back around with a hand held out towards her. Taking a moment to look at the outstretched hand with a quizzical gaze, she quickly glances back up at her cousin to ask, “What?”

“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight. There’s no way I’m going to leave you out here alone when you’re in such low spirits.”

Lexa briefly considers putting up a fight in an attempt to convince her cousin that she will be fine by herself, but she is exhausted, and frankly too drunk, to protest the woman’s demands any further. “Fine,” the brunette grumbles under her breath as she relocates the sleepy cat onto the cushion beside her and reluctantly takes Anya’s hand, only to be abruptly pulled up into the other woman’s arms as Anya wraps her up in a warm embrace.

“The next time you feel this way, just remember that I love you and will always be here if you need me. You are never alone, and don’t ever, ever, _ever_ forget that, okay?”

“M’kay.”

“Good. Now, let’s go to bed, Punk. I’m exhausted,” Anya suggests as she releases the woman from her grasp and gives her cousin's shoulder a playful shove, only to have Lexa almost loose her balance and she stumbles forward a few steps. Once Anya has managed to help the younger Woods regain her footing, the pair share in a round of subdued laughter as she begins leading Lexa towards her bedroom, teasingly warning the brunette, “Oh, and don’t even _think_ about stealing the covers, you sheet smuggler."

"I don't do it intentionally, Jerk. It just happens," Lexa groans before pausing just outside the open bedroom door, looking back towards the couch as she calls out, "Come on, Cat."

"No. No! That fleabag is _not_ sleeping in my bed,” Anya attempts to refuse but simply watches as the feline takes a short moment to stretch out his back and legs before quickly padding past them and into the room, only looking back towards the two cousins once he is seated comfortably atop the bed. “Damn it, Lexa. Now he’s going to think I’m okay with him coming in here.”

With a big grin, Lexa carefully makes her way over to the bed and slides under the sheets, being careful not to jostle Cat too much, reasoning, “First off, you keep him up to date on a monthly flea preventative, so the insulting name you just called him is completely inaccurate. Second, he sleeps on the couch with me every night, which is something you should have thought of before inviting me into your room.”

“Whatever, Nerd. Just roll over and go to sleep already,” Anya groans, unable to suppress the grin pulling at her lips as she flicks off the lights so they can rest for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!
> 
> I'm excited to already be back with this new chapter, especially after the long wait for the previous one. I just wanted to thank you all once again for taking the time to read my story. It really means a lot to me. Please feel free to let me know what you think! Anyways, hope you are having a lovely day/night/etc. See you next time!
> 
> http://loveintechnicolor.tumblr.com/


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